10th of August 2016

I am outraged! On a day like today, with 40 degrees Celsius at 6 PM (thanks God that today it was slightly better than the days before) they left the boulevard (Calea Moșilor) where I live in Bucharest and the nearby streets without garbage bins. I went on a walk in the neighborhood and I realized that people are out of their minds, possibly because of the heat wave too. They appear to be so many coming here on my street and too many prams with little babies under the scorching sun or effectively carried by their parents in their arms! It is not normal and this area is momentarily without proper sanitization – I smelled much too much dog shit and garbage in putrefaction and besides my pain in my belly, I feel very disgusted and sad and I needed to tell the truth again, hoping that they will help the poor people and their children. For God’s sake! Lord have pity on the children at least…I pray that the authorities will reinstall the waste containers soon.
I have to add another simple fact of observation. It seems that the poor people lack elementary hygiene notions and I feel very sorry for them. On such days and garbage conditions they should wear safe footwear. I had money only for one pair of shoes, but this does not matter. But they seem to have money, yet they come with babies on my street, wearing (men and women) thin soles sandals or flip-flops, as if on the beach. And the dust and the heat, etc.

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ABUSE

For God’s sake, pray to God for my mother or help her, she feels increasingly worse and without her I shall remain without health insurance and if they fuck me like they did yesterday and so many times I die if I don’t have psychiatric drugs and only my mother can bring them to me and of course I care for her – and the doctors said that I was removed from the list of patients with free medical insurance and my mother promised me that she will fight for my rights and she will go somewhere for that. For God’s sake, they even put false documents in my house in my drawers, I discovered forgeries in my drawers, IT IS TRUE, they have changed even my personal code in some official papers, it’s true. If I remain uninsured they will kill me … I was good, not evil, and my mother the same, and some people come over me with the thought that they no longer need me, and my mother said she no longer spoke with her cousin who lives in a neighboring locality. He has not even called her brother yet. Mother is less than 69 years old, and I am less than 46. For God’s sake, I don’t even have someone for exchanging two words with him/her on the phone. I have no one and I was pure goodness, HELP ME! They say that my people swore revenge to me though i was pure goodness and calm and that they believe that I was or that I am insane, evil and stupid! IT IS NOT TRUE WHAT THEY SAY. ONLY WHAT i SAY IS THE TRUTH ABOUT ME. FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHY THERE IS NO HUMANITY IN THIS WORLD?? why don’t you understand? IT IS A MONSTROUS ABUSE AND MURDER, PLEASE HELP

9th of July, 2016

My horrible mother came to me and made again a horrible scene, leaving after 2 hours of yelling….I still wonder why you the rest of civilized people prefer the lies instead of truth and left me in the grip of such a monster…I always was good and innocent and maybe valuable as an individual.
Others just entered my mind saying that they had to lie about me and invent that I was insane or maybe more lies, BECAUSE they had to justify the fact that they imprisoned me for 32 years and fucked me again and again. Others entered my mind again saying that they want to kill me BECAUSE the common people must never understand that the psychiatric patients like me sustain the society. All these thoughts are theirs, they are only partly right BUT they don’t have any alibi for killing me, I was perfect my whole life.
Now again they repeat “Cristina is a bitch. She should have understood that if we confess the truth we will all die” and ” This was the only way to preserve our honor and be absolved of guilt — (to kill Cristina)” My opinion is that they are insane and the utmost of evil.
anyway I never forced someone to confess the truth and I cannot do this, their thoughts are illogical too

Monsters — the truth again

Look — the situation. I was monstrously massacred by barbarians, especially in since 2002, but they did not let me write all. I explain again the current situation, hoping that you will take a lesson at least. I don’t know if I will commit suicide now. In the past 10 years they massacred me, and the medics too. They did not give me proper treatment in my humble opinion. I WENT ONCE TO THE OCULIST AND SHE SAID I DO NOT NEED GLASSES, I ASKED FOR READING. I had my period these days and soon as it started they started to massacre me sexually. HORRIBLE. My mother refused to bring me psychiatric pills on Tuesday and that medic refused to give me all that I needed (even though they had to change the pills IMHO) because they emitted laws forbidding 2 types of drugs per patient. For 2 days they horribly used my sex, moving and controlling my pelvis…and pain all over. I sweated all over and felt like dying and hyperthermia too —heat all over my body. Couldn’t sleep. I tried to read a few pages in vain….my eyes are too tired because of them. Pain in my eyes. Each night in the back of my building there are young monsters or PIGS spitting vulgar words for 10 years, drumming, laughing, etc. Very loud. Each day the neighbors. If I could read I could have resisted maybe this night, but as I told it is murder, they did not give me eyeglasses or eye remedies, they yell each night and they torture my body & brain. On a closed group with colleagues from Psychology I kindly talked with one of them and another one Camelia Popa, a doctor in Psychology, who recently unfriended me on facebook spitted there harsh words upon me as if I were evil or as if she were an idiot.
See, maybe you don’t understand me. I was always silent. I don’t speak and I don’t think thoughts in my mind. I don’t know what disturbs them. I woke up and my head feels horrible because of the tortures in the past months. Then they entered my mind with their thoughts “All mad people are right, but the trouble is that they are fucked” “They can’t fuck her in her “pizda”, they can’t fuck her in her “cur”, what else can they do?” They are vulgar and mean and evil. I never was like this. I remember how they screamed in the past weeks (Not thoughts, but the screams of the workers nearby) “Now that’s the pizda talking”…:( And I was saying/thinking nothing. And hundreds of evil and vulgar thoughts too, not mine, never heard by me except by few. And now “You are too old you stupid”. You cannot even imagine how many curses and coarse talking aloud I had to swallow from the workers nearby in the past weeks — they screamed aloud on and on pizda and pula words I that I hate and called one another you handicapped, obey to me, etc.